Late at night...

Ok, flying insect. This is a warning from me to you. I know you have trouble flying, seeing as how you crashed on my bed and flew into my hair, but I can forgive you for that. But if you dare die on top of my huge bookcase in my newly cleaned room I'm NOT gonna give you a proper funeral! You hear me flying insect? 'Cause I sure as hell can hear you! *a short while later it goes quiet and I can't find the body* Oh, I bet I know where you are you little demon fly!

Drawings from a writer

I thought I should practise how to draw backgrounds and so I drew this.... Well, at least I can draw water splash and mountains... The other I still think I should practise on. But hey, for a first try it was good wasn't it? Well, almost good.

Highlights?

Highlight of yesterday: Me and mother looks at street art when she suddenly says "You can do this better" ... I love my mother!

25th July

This was one of my bad days...

... I'm not crying! I just.... Ok! But how the hell would you feel if you got glaring looks on you as soon as you open your mouth?! And I mean litteraly! As soon as I opened the mouth I got a glaring look and nobody listen to what I said... It's been like that the whole day... I just... Right now I want to talk to somebody. But no one is available. Oh, these were sort of family so I couldn't just leave. Otherwise I would have, but I stayed for my mother's sake...

Yeah! So that was my day... How were your day?

BJD rant

OMG!
I just have to write this here, because again, I don't have anyone to say this to, but OMG!

OK. I have seven Ball-Joint Dolls, one on the way, but anyway and I think I should think more before I buy a doll, but here! I'm pobably one of those few who think before buying! I haven't sold ONE of my dolls! Or is it none... I haven't sold any of my dolls that I've baught! I haven't sold eyes or wigs or anything that I've baught! I think if you buy something you have a responsibility to it, you made a choice and either you stick with that choice or you don't make it. Also, I'm probably gonna sound crazy now but I don't care. Ball-Joint Dolls is affected by you, if you get what I mean. If you care for them and treat them with dignity.. they form their own aura. It's amazing when I feel that my dolls are in a special mood and a stranger says that the doll are giving away a certain wibe. I know I'm probably crazy and delusional, but yeah! I'm just saying... My friend accidently broke one of my dolls and after that she doesn't like him because he gives away a certain wibe. I don't feel it but she was the one who broke him.

So what I'm getting at here is that I just saw one of my friends blog about her dolls and usually her dolls feels pretty good. But lately she has been selling off more and more of her dolls and now I just saw an add on her blog on a doll that she got 19th July this year. ... That's FIVE days ago!! She has only had the doll for FIVE DAYS and she's already putting adds on it! I feel so sorry for the doll! Here its trying to adapt, it's learning its new enviorment and its meeting new people and it doesn't have time to form a bond with the owner because she's selling it to the next! ... People think before you buy!! That doll wasn't even Limited edition! It just frustrates me because... Well yeah, the doll is most important to me so I care more about it, but it's really an insult to the company as well!! I watched a post from the company FB page and they have to work on a holiday because they have SO much orders that needs to be finished. They have to take a brake from orders because it's turning up so much and then people just sell their works after five days in their costudy because they suddenly realized that it probably wasn't a good idea!!! *frustrated* *frustrated* *frustrated* *calms down* ...

OK. Thank you for listening to my crazy rant. It just.... Frustrates me when people doesn't think. These dolls costs more than 400 dollors! I thought I didn't care about money, but... That's just... No. You don't DO that! It's unfair to so many people and things! .... I'm gonna watch Big Beng Theory now! Have a nice day!

I miss my Sims

All right... Nervous!

Due to some problems I had to uninstall my Sims 3... It just wouldn't work properly and I had done some things my friends had told me before i uninstalled. I made sure that uninstall was my last option and yeah.. Nothing was working and I ran out of ideas of what the problem may be so... Now I have uninstalled it. I wonder what will happen if I install it again now... How it will look. I probably have to install everything I've bought for it again... All the things I've done... it's gone, can I get it back? I don't know.

I at least have the comfort that the Sims 4 is out soon so if it doesn't work out... Well at least I don't have to battle with two Sims games on my computer. There is some comfort in that.

Story typing

OMG... I can't believe this...

Well, I have one story that I'm writing on right now, it's going quite well I think. But anyway! And I've got some stories on the line in my head. Two about my dolls, then I got one same sex love story, one oposite sex love story, one story about death and... yesterday I watched a movie and I didn't really like it so my mind began to wonder and.. It wondered really far. It stopped at another idea for a story. I should just sell my ideas to get some of them out of my head! Although I don't think that would work. Anyway! So how many stories do I got in my head now? Oh! I forgot about the fantasy story for my dolls! The one I need my new doll for! ... All right so that's one, three, five, seven and... eight. Holy Crap, I thought it was only six! That's two more than I thought! ... Wow. I should hurry this one on... Wait, which one will I start with after this one? I... Can't I just write them all at the same time? Whenever I feel like write about love I write one of those. Whenever I want to write about murder and mysterious people I go into those stories. Isn't that a great plan? ... No, I've tried that before... I got so much new ideas that I abandoned everything in the end... Damn this is hard.

The room was quiet, dark and lonesome. He sat by himself in this room without any furniture and funny looking walls. It wasn't his choice to be there, but here he was, by himself, trying to keep himself company. To keep calm he tried to have conversations in his head with the different things in the room, there wasn't really anything else he could do. The walls never said anything and when they did it was mostly about how great they were. They could squash him if they liked since they were bigger than him. There were four walls and they worked as one, trying to convince the cealing and the floor to co-operate. He was tired of hearing them speak before they could finish their talk so he stopped listening.
He caught something in the corner of his eye, something glistening in the dark. It's voice was light and it had a happier tone than the slow words of the walls. Apparently it liked to talk, but didn't have many that listened to it. He figured most of the people that had come in here would just ignore it. He didn't.
The camera was angled at him and it was watching him closely, it was small and black, disguised well by the dark. It seemed to be grinning that high up in that cosy corner of its.
"They're watching you."
It said with a mocking tone in its voice. The conversation was in his head, he was convinced about that, so he didn't feel it necessary to open his mouth when he answered it.
"Do they like what they're seeing?"
If the camera had eyelids it would blink in confusion. However it worked with what it had and the lense was clicking and rolling.
"I don't think you should be asking me that question. Better ask the monitors."
That comment actually made him smile in his loneliness. It has been a while and it felt like his cheeks would crack as he pulled the corner of his mouth into a smile. He would have massaged his cheeks if his hands weren't tied up.
"They're still watching you."
"How would you know if they're watching me if you can't even know if they're enjoying the show?"
"I'm a camera. I'm for recording, not watching."
"Aha."
For a camera it probably made sense.

I'm writing this as I'm watching a movie so it's not as good as my other works but... I'll rewrite it when I'm writing this story. This is a little bit of what's been playing in my head today. Well... Enjoy! Bye bye!

Money issues? Not really..

All right... Ehum... Yes.

So I met up with a friend today. And he also reads Skulduggery Pleasant. So I thought to myself finally I've found someone I can diskuss Skulduggery with! Now when I've finally read all the books! ... The first thing he says is: "Have you read Tanith's sidestory?" .. I looked like a questionmark. No had not! I didn't even know it existed! I felt awful and stuff like that so we went to the bookstore and... I bought it. I'm unemployed but still I go out and buy it... It wasn't that expensive and it's Skulduggery Pleasant! Of course I'm going to buy it! I couldn't leave the store without it! *sigh* anyway! That's done and... Now I have something new to read in the Skulduggery serie! But I have to wait until I've finished reading the second book. I don't have much left of it, so got to do that first and then I'm going to read it! Good plan!

Also I've decided to buy a new doll.... It's going to be my 8th doll. ... IT'S LIMITED EDITION which means they won't be getting in more of that doll and it's SOOOO B-E-A-utiful! Yes! So... I'm gonna go now. I still have money for food and necessary stuff so.. Hopefully I'll get a job in the next two months before my money is gone! Yes! ... Good plan. I'm full of Good plans today! .. Bye!

A portion of Love

"It's about love!"
"Love?"
"Oh yes, that human emotion I've heard so much about!"

... I want to write about love. Love stories fills my heart with so much. I don't really like love in the real world, it ALWAYS ends in disaster and I end up hurting people.. So I try to stay away from it, but! I'm human and love is such a wonderful feeling when all is right. So I want to write about it. Feel what the characters are feeling. To meet someone, maybe someone you'd hate at first. Then realize that these strong feelings are even stronger than hate and you see that person in a whole different light and you realize that you no longer can't leave that person. Your whole heart are screaming everytime you say good bye to that person, the heart is screaming to hold that person whenever you are together. The mind gets cloudy and soon you can't hear what the person is saying. All you can hear is the heart beating violently and to shut it up you have to touch the other person. Words are spoken, words that you don't really understand, words that can't describe this strong feeling however the words seems so right. And so as the other person stays silent, you take a chance. You close the gap between you and you don't even consider the consequences or the possibility that the person might step away. You only think about those lips pressing against each other and at that moment, the feeling grows and you loose control.

Yes. I really want to write about love. However, the story I'm writing now isn't about love. Is about loss and what else you can gain from life than just love... Yeah, no love story there. It'll have to wait. I really need to finish this story before I start another. Otherwise this one will never get finished and I like it. Yeah! I don't really know what else to say here. So.. I'll just go. Bye!

Big with a large B

Oh My God! Holy Crap/Cow/Shit! OMFG! This is HUGE!! I... I have no idea how to react! I... I just don't know.

So! My mother and me.. I love my mother. She is the best mother in the entire world and even if she hasn't been entirely happy with my choice of being a writer when I grow up. I can understand that, I think I've mentioned it here somewhere or something, I don't know. But! Anyway, I understand why she hasn't really been liking the idea that I want to write stories and earn money by it, because not many young people who wants to write gets to write. So I understand why she grimace everytime I tell someone I want to be a writer.

So, today we were going to go home from our vecation and stuff like that and we were totally alone and just suddenly while I'm reading(you know which book) she's saying, out of nowhere... "You know, I think you and I have a pretty good relationship. We can talk to each other and we listen to each other. So if you really want to be a writer... Then I'm gonna help you as much as I can. I support you from now on." ... I was in total shock. I just sat there, staring at her with my mouth open and was like... "What do you expect me to do?" I'm sorry, but I'm pretty scared now. When she didn't support me, I knew exactly what to do. I knew that I was going to write anyway and make it as far as I could on my own and if it didn't work, it would be no big deal. It is a dream after all and a BIG dream so I'm prepared for a few step backs and come backs and what not, but... Now when she is behind me it feels like more is at stake. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that she's supporting me and all that and I can finally talk about it with her and get some help, but.. What will she do if no one wants to give out my books? I'm ready to leave the country to be a writer, but... Now I kind of got to do it for her too. And it scares me. I don't just have to take care of my self when I get step backs (I know that they're coming) but now I also have to take of her when it doesn't work out as we want it... Do you understand how I think? It's still great that I have her support and we can talk about it, but I don't want her to feel bad that she chose to support me if I fail. It scares me, but... Yeah! My mother is great! How many writers (or artist whatever) can say that their family supported them when they craved for something big? It's not many! I'm so happy that I get to be my mother's daughter! I'm one of the most luckiest daughters in the world! I'm so blessed and it scares me! Haha!

Well... It was big news and she just laid it on me that sudden! I didn't expect that.. I didn't think she would support me until I was big of a name! .. It's Kagi Warai, if you're wondering. That's the name people know and will know me for. I hope anyway.

Well! Now I think I'm going to upload some photos I took during the vecation and after that I'm going to sleep because I'm tired and I'm going to the hairsaloon tomorrow! Finally I'm going to get some new crazy colors in my hair again! Wooo!

Take care! Love you all!
//Kagi

Skulduggery Pleasant Love!

Since I can't read Mystic anymore guess which book I've started reading on again?! ... It's such a perfect bookserie that I can't keep my hands away from it!!! *sigh* Yeah, I started reading on Skulduggery Pleasant again.. I can't help it! I love those books! I keep thinking about them when I'm not thinking about my stories and... Everytime I mention Skulduggery's name in my head I let out this.. sigh! This dreamy sigh that you let out when you love someone and starts thinking about him/her. Damn, I feel pathetic... And I'm sorry if I'm nagging about that book, but it's really all I think about recently..... OK, that's a lie, but it's mostly what I think about recently.
Why did I have to fall in love with that beautiful cover when I first layed my eyes on it in my school library? Why did I read the pages that made me fall in love with the book even more? Why must Derek Landy's writing be so perfect? Why is his characters so intriguing that you either must love or hate them? .. Or just tolorate them? Why why why?!

Because Derek Landy is Brilliant!! That's why!

Good day!

Sick and Mystic

Hello, hi!
Sorry for my absence, but I do have a good explaination for that! .... I was sick. That's a good explaination isn't it? Well, anyway! Yes, I have been sick for the last couple of days and I have no idea what kind of sick. I want to say a cold or something, but... I haven't had a cold where I was puking that much or my throat was hurting that much without my nose pretending to be a waterfall. So I don't know what it was... Anyway! It's gone now and I'm finally healthy again! Well, as healthy as I was before I was puking every night. And that was the hard part about it, I couldn't puke during the day I only puked at 3 am in the morning. That wasn't funny at all. But then I cut down on my meals and then I stopped puking... It wasn't funny at all. But anyway! I'm so glad that it's over! It means I can go to the country again tomorrow! Yay!

And also I started reading "Mystic" and as I read I thought this must be a sequal to another book, it really doesn't explain certain things and talks as if I already should know all of these stuff and... Yeah, I was right. Mystic is the third book in a bookserie called "The soul Seeker" so... I stopped reading that. Can't read the third book if I haven't read the others! No I can not..