I'm going to do something I probably shouldn't do.... I'm going to start writing on a new story... and I haven't finished the one I worked on last year. I know I shouldn't be doing this... I should finish my first story, but... I don't want to write on it right now. I love it, it's a good story and I am going to finish it, but... Right now I want to start writing about new characters, new adventures, new meetings, new problems... The other story I'm just going to write the final battle and some finishing lines... I don't want to do that right now.
I've been having this feeling for a long time now and.. I've tried to keeping myself occupied with other stuff so that I don't start to write on this new story... It's a great story and I think about it every day, that's why I can't start to write it. I'm afraid I'll never finish the other one then....
But right now... I don't feel great when I don't write. That's what happening now. I had to put aside my writing because of all the things I did for Halloween and Christmas. After that I needed a break because I was... Well you can imagine how I was feeling when you work on several projects for three months and 12 hours a day. I didn't even rest on the weekends so.. There you go. Do that and you'll know how I feel. Add it too that I had nightmares for about two months and wasn't getting the sleep I needed. So yeah, I think I have the right to take a little break for a week or so.
But anyway! When I don't write I get this... depression. I don't want to do anything, I don't want to eat I don't want to do anything but just lie in my bed and think about death. It has always been like that for me. When I don't write I become a unpleasant being. So right now I need to write and since I just want to write the new story.... Maybe I should write on it? To get rid of this feeling. And become my usual pleasant self and not just the shell of a human who used to be so full of energy.
---
By the way... I had another nightmare this night. And... It was really horrible... The short version: I dreamt that I was poisoned by one very distant family member. In my dream I tried not to swallow it and I could feel how the saliva in my mouth was dripping down... I woke up about there and my pillow was rather wet... So I'm pretty depressed over that too. Just, a lot of depression that's thrown over me. Yeah.. I just want to make it better. So I'm going to write on my new story and I'm hoping it will cheer me up.
Have a nice day all of you! Hope this post haven't affected your day in a bad way. That's not why I wrote it.
No comments:
Post a Comment