Friday 11 October 2013

October the month, by Kagi Warai

I haven't written here in a while.... But you probably already knew that so that's no surprise. However why.... is probably not a surprise either but I'll tell you otherwise. I've been really busy. There's a LOT going on now, like all Octobers I have a lot planned because my favourite holiday is coming up. Yes! My favourite holiday isn't Christmas or Easter or anything where you actually get presents. My favourite holiday is Halloween because that means that you get to dress up and scare the SHIT out of everyone! It's so hillarious! I remember one time when I was out, dressed out and walked in to a store. On my way out I bumped into a kid and as soon as our eyes met he went "Wow!" It was so funny and such a wonderful moment that I bring with me everytime this holiday come up. I have so much fond memories of Halloween however Christmas and Easter I don't have very fond memories... Not at all. Especially Christmas. I hate Christmas! But we'll take that story once it comes to that.

Yeah! Busy busy busy! I have got my new doll by the way! He's here, safe and sound.... with a extra head? .... Okay, I'm all for that! However it means I have another head without a body at my lap... Great. Oh well! Right now I have eight dolls! However only seven of those needs new clothes for Halloween. So I'm working on that right now..... Which means.... I've out away some of the writing... I feel really bad about that, but I'm sorry I can't work on that and the Halloween outfits at the same time. I just can't do it, it's too stressful! And I really don't need anymore stress because my body won't take it. However! I'm almost done with this novel! I just have a few pages left to write and I feel really good about that! So, I'm done with two Halloween outfits, I'm almost done with the third (I only have a detailed coat left to do so) I'm confident that I'll be finished until October 31.

Well! Since my brain can't really relax while I'm working on this Halloween project I'm also thinking a lot about my stories. I'm almost finished with this one and so... How to move on from there? What should be my next story? How will I know this one will finish? What made me continue writing on the one I'm working on now? What's new? What's Kagi? That's a lot of questions I'm working on right now. I've gone though a lot of ideas in my head while writing this one and no one has really poped like "I think I want to continue this story up until the end". I've gone through different characters that hasn't clicked with me, stories that sounds great but for a longer project... Not so much. The second last one I thought up of a design for a creature, combining everything I like and want to write about, I thought about the co-characters, the villain..... The villain... There's where it didn't click. I didn't really want to have a villain, however I needed a climax in the end, but... It felt like I had all these puzzlepieces but a lot of them was from different puzzles. However I liked the characters so I really wanted it to work! But no matter how hard I thought and how hard I tried to fit the puzzlepieces wouldn't fit together. So! Not I've taken one of those characters and put him in another story. Now! Finally it feels like a complete puzzle! I'm just working on the details and I'm hoping that I want to continue on this story.

On top of all these things, I'm having REAL trubble with sleep. Yeah... that thing... Well, I can't remember the last time I had a good dream. Must be about... Four... five months back? Maybe even longer than that? I have nightmares every night. I had a dream that I was in the GTA world, being hunted by the police, it sounds great and it kind of was. However when you feel your heart beat and you're out of breath because you're trying to run from the cops and hiding in a cliff hearing the sirens and seeing the blue and red light above your head and you're just praying that they won't find you... That turns into a nightmare. Last night I had two nightmares. I dreamt that the dust in my room turned into a slug, and from my bed I watched how it grew from gray flewing things into something solid and then changed colors into brown and then we have a slug crawling over my floor. However when it couldn't find any food to eat it turned into this long, hard, sticky thing.... I can't really describe it, but it was weird! In that dream me and my mother cleaned my room. And in that sense I kind of wanted to go back to it so that I had a clean room. But! I cleaned today so now I do have a clean room (and I didn't find any slugs! Yay!) The second nightmare I had was about horses. I LOVE horses, they're a thing of beauty that no one can replicate with their long legs, strong muscular bodies, their expressive eyes that has this history and... Yeah, horses are beautiful animals. However after I stopped talking to my friend (it's a long complicated story that's between us... or it SHOULD BE!) after that I've kind of had nightmares about horses where there's just... I can see a horse running in the paddock and I know that it was a horse I've met, it has this grey tone to it, every time! It has this dark feeling to it. Almost as if the horses are saying: "Why did you abandon us?" ... I don't like that. It doesn't really feel right. I've never felt that before EVER! And.. I don't know what to do.

One last thing I'll talk about while we're on the subject of animals. I'm thinking a lot of my grandmother's cats that passed away... one in 2012 and the other one... A long time ago. Lately I'm thinking about them more and.. they were such beautiful cats. I had such a connection towards them. I'll probably do another post just about them and how wonderful they were, not just towards me, but towards each other. They had such a connection and... Yeah, all I'm saying now is that I'm thinking about them a lot and I really miss them.

So yeah! A lot going on! Sewing, planning Halloween, nightmares and sleepless nights, new stories and the loss of two wonderful cats... Just a normal day in Kagi's life! I'm just trying to keep up and not let my mind wonder too far away with me... Also.... How come LM.C doesn't give out an album this year?! That's just wrong!! Oh well, I'll get one in Febuary next year. I'll have to settle with their awesome singles this year. Bye!!

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