Alone

I'm shaking. I'm actually shaking.

... I don't feel so good. It hasn't been the best morning. I overslept... I cut myself in the shower... I have trouble eating and... What's the other thing? Oh yeah, another friend cancelled on me again... This friend has never done it before.. Apparently she made up for lost time seeing how she did it three times in a row. And now I don't feel so good. Not at all..

I think I'm hungry... My stomach is acting up, but my throat doesn't want to let anything through. Probably because I have a huge lump filled with cry in it. Yeah, that's probably it.

Now that I'm feeling like this I should probably write, seeing how the next scene I'm writing on is a fight scene... But I don't have the strength for that. Probably because of the hunger... And the fact that I'm tired...

I should sew, to get the Halloween costumes finished, but.. the fabric I'm working on right now is irritating the hell our of me so I don't want to do that... I want to sew for my newest arrival but again... No strength for that...

I'm trying to be happy, so I read a little in Skulduggery Pleasant... But all I could think about was that I wanted Skulduggery to be here, comforting me. Although he would probably just threaten or punch the person who hurt me and I don't want that. But he probably would make me laugh at the same time.

I just want to go back to bed and sleep this day away... However my sleep always great me with nightmares so it wouldn't be so pleasant... Can I die? A deep sleep without any dreams... And I don't need to get my heart broken anymore... that sounds pleasant. Also if I were dead then people wouldn't feel like they have to meet me. That would be good for them too.

Can I just please live in excile? Just put me on an Island somewhere with my computer (without internet connection) and a lexicon and my Skulduggery Pleasant books so that all I can do with my life is write? Please?