Home again

*crawls out of my cave and stretches*

Oh! ... Hi, ehum... Yeah! Haven't written here in a while... Mostly because I've been kind of tired and all over the place. Well.. Last time you heard from me I was on my way to London and... Yeah, flying went extremely well, both the take off and the landing, no trouble there. I didn't loose my baggage so I have everything fixed, nothing got destroyed either so it went very well, and I'm happy with our flight. London was Amazing, I loved it, now when I'm back home, I dream about London all the time so.. It left a big impression on me, in a good way!

And since I've gotten home I've felt a little deppressed because I still feel useless and worthless and I don't really have anything or anyone that, not Can, but don't want to talk about. I don't want to talk about these feelings to my friends because they'll probably say I'm being ridiculus and stupid for thinking that I'm useless and I don't really need nor want to hear that. Yeah! To hear that I'm stupid will really make me feel less useless, right? ... Not really, so I don't talk to my friends about that, I'm trying to process the whole thing by myself... It's taking a lot of energy out of me, but now finally I'm starting to think a little positive!

I'm trying to find more friends to hang out with, but I'm starting to get pretty scared about it... I don't want to have my heart broken again.... That sounds wrong, but I don't want to be disappointed or dumped in a corner whenever those people I call friends don't find use for me anymore... Everytime I'm trying to open up to people and be myself it feels like... They think I'm getting too close.... Am I too much? Do I have too much personality? ... Ok, that was a joke, no one can have too much personality, you can have a big personality, but never Too Much. Well! Anyway, I'm trying my best to live in this reality, but it still feels better to escape into my fantasy world. That's what making me the happiest right now, so.. We'll see how it goes!

Right now I'm trying to get out of bed (I'm kind of in pain) and go shopping so I can sew. I've taken a big pain killer and now it's just my will power that's in the way! .. and a little my fear... Meow... Have a nice day!